The Undercover IT Correspondent

DEAD IT POETS SOCIETY

Emily Dickinson and Rudyard Kipling were already writing about IT in the 19^th century!

 

IT might have started in the mid-20^th century, but two 19^th century poets describe the trials and tribulations of the profession so well that one could be forgiven for thinking that they had somehow been caught in a time warp.

 

For example, the following stanza from Rudyard Kipling’s ‘The Broken Men’ could have been written about Microsoft and Vista:

 

For things we never mention,

  For art misunderstood –

For excellent intention

  That did not turn to good …

 

Emily Dickinson’s ‘Forbidden fruit’ captures perfectly the state of mind of Windows users longing for a Macintosh to go with their iPods:

 

Heaven is what I cannot reach!

  The Apple on the tree,

Provided it do hopeless hang

  That ‘heaven’ is to me.

 

And her poem, ‘The Lost Thought’, could be the lament for a developer in intense debug:

 

I felt a clearing in my mind

  As if my brain had split;

I tried to match it, seam by seam,

  But could not make them fit.

 

The thought behind I strove to join

  Unto the thought before,

But sequence raveled out of reach

  Like balls upon a floor.

 

IT departments who still cling to the waterfall methodology for software development, despite ample evidence that it does not work, would do well to remember Kipling’s words from ‘The Power of the Dog’:

 

There is sorrow enough in the natural way

From men and women to fill our day;

And when we are certain of sorrow in store,

Why do we always arrange for more?

 

And finally, Rudyard Kipling’s ‘When Earth’s Last Picture is Painted’ could, with a few minor changes, describe the whole profession on judgement day:

 

When Earth’s last program is written

  And the tapes are twisted and dried,

When the oldest listings have faded,

  And the youngest critic has died.

We shall rest, and, faith, we shall need it -

  Lie down for an aeon or two,

Till the Master of all good software

  Shall put us to work anew.

 

And only The Master shall praise us,

  And only The Master shall blame;

And no one shall work for money,

  And no one shall work for fame,

But each for the joy of the program,

  And each in his separate star,

Shall code the thing as he sees it,

  For the god of things as they are!

 

MG